Remember those brutal dismissals, the busy phone line, and the feigned emotions? You were obviously oblivious to all these tell-tale signs before, but when you’re finally exposed to the disloyalty of your partner, you find yourself unable to approach the topic, let alone recover from the shock. So, what makes infidelity absolutely hard to bear? And how do you recover from that humiliation, pain and agony?


Even as 1st graders, we knew that relationships were meant to be formed on the basic foundation of trust and honesty. Certainly, we couldn’t measure the degree of intimacy and love shared with our friends and family but deep within some kernel of our hearts, even as little kids, we all knew that it was extremely important to be honest.

Being lied to hurts and it takes tremendous fortitude to feel okay after having been cheated on!And to add to it, ‘cheating’ isn’t just lying in all its simplicity. What makes infidelity particularly painful is the fact that you’re not only emotionally devastated but you’re also exposed to a host of other issues – an injured self-esteem, a wounded self-image and confidence, and feelings of shame and humiliation are few of the many effects an infidel relationship has on the victim.You keep wondering, “Where did I go wrong?”, “Wasn’t I enough?”, and the blame game continues for a long time. Yes, infidelity brings about a toll so devastating on people that the effect of it is felt long after the relationship has been called off.

While some build up a feeling of retribution, others jump into rebound relationships just to give their ego’s a little boost; some forgive and forget and some forget but never forgive. But, is it truly necessary to feel victimized? How about a little self esteem boost? After all, their actions do not define who you are. Why should you be blaming yourself when you’ve always been the faithful one? The infidelity epidemic is definitely on the rise and below I tell you why the last thing you should do is blame yourself.

Don’t play the blame-game:
It’s not your fault that he chose to go behind your back and cheat on you. His actions are purely based on his poor judgment and blaming yourself for his mistakes is the last thing you should do. If things had not been going well for you two, your partner should have had the guts to settle it within the relationship and not gone outside of it to fix it.


Hold no grudges
Yes, you’re devastated beyond repair after your heart got dragged through the mud. But, don’t have hard feelings for someone you cared for at one point in your life. Instead, be willing to talk to him about it. You can fume with rage because you’re allowed to, but once the discussion is over, have the heart to completely let it go - it is for your own good.


Do not be afraid to trust again
After all is said and done, know that not everyone out there is going to hurt you. Reach out for help from friends and family and know that people care about your happiness. There are a lot of people you can rely on and constantly remind yourself that you are worthy of being treated in the best manner possible


Stop overanalyzing
There is no limitations in pain, it’s there until it’s not. But it’s your choice either to be vulnerable or to stop analyzing his actions. Processing the pain your heart feels, you unintentionally tend to over-think and draw conclusions on your own. Now is the time to give that head and heart a little rest and to know that you tried your best to keep him happy.


Do not rule out the “second chance” possibility
Everyone makes mistakes and while forgiving may be easy, reaccepting the person who broke your heart by being infidel is probably next to impossible. Nonetheless, know that even though old wounds might resurface every now and then, some people are worthy of second chances.