I always imagined a situation where I would have to lose the love of my life. But never had I imagined that my imagination would shape into reality. It was too soon, it was too sudden; it was something I had never anticipated. I never, in my wildest dreams, could imagine staying away from her even for a single moment. But now, I have to spend the rest of my life with the memories she left behind.

We were BFFs, we were more. We were everything an Òin-loveÓ couple would be. But to tell you the truth, I do not know if we ever had that sort of a relationship. I still remember the first time I met her and that was also the very day I danced with her. That started our journey; a beautiful journey which I had never imagined would get cut short.

Friday-June 17, 2011, I found out that she was no more. I went to her home to make sure and when I got there, I saw everyone mourning. It hit me and before I even realized, I was crying. I had lost the love of my life. It felt like a huge hole was punched right through my chest. The pain was so excruciating that I would rather choose dying than living with the pain. I was broken into a million pieces and I knew I’d never be fixed.

A few months have passed and times still come where all I want to do is cry. Flashbacks leave a smile across my face but it scratches the wounds of my heart as realization hits me that I can no longer have another memory with her by my side. When I hear her favorite songs or hear LADY GAGA, it reminds me of her so much. I still have one of her favorite songs as my ringtone. And every time I get a call, I’m hoping to see her name on my phone.

There isn’t just one single moment that is special to me as every moment I had with her was magical. But the memory that hurts me the most is dancing with her. A few days ago I went to a club and I saw couples dancing together and I remembered how it felt when I was dancing with her. Regardless of my bad dancing, she never felt ashamed and she loved dancing with me as much as I did dancing with her. I would do anything just to dance with her.

I actually am a very selfish person because I just cannot ask for JUST ONE TIME because I know that if I ever got a chance to be with her again for a while then I’d want to keep her to myself forever. She is the most beautiful person I’ve ever met and I’m grateful that I got to be a part of such an amazing person’s life. She was always there for me when I needed her and even though she said she was bad at cheering people up, I’d always feel better just talking to her. I still remember the way she called my name and I shall never forget the very last thing she said to me, “SUJAN, I LOVE YOU!”

I light ‘diyos’ every Friday in her name because I want to do everything I can to keep her happy. She always told me to MAN UP so I’ve stopped crying and I’m living each day, smiling, in her memory so that wherever she is, she can continue to smile down on me. She will always be a part of who I am and she will forever be in my heart.

P.S.: I love you Bimuna
SujANUMid Forever