Home alone because your parents are out and you got no siblings? Do you long for a younger brother or an elder sister? Read this story of an only child and see how he battled his loneliness.

The world is so unjust. You only realize this if you meet with a tragedy. And nothing can be worse than not having a sibling. If I were in God’s shoes, I would either give everyone on earth a sibling or make everyone only childs. Then there would be no complaints from cursed people like us.

As a fetus in my mother’s womb, the probability of my being born as a boy was half. The day I was born, the speculation about my gender turned into certainty. I do not know what happened back then but I am sure that I brought joy to my family. My parents must have been so happy to welcome their first baby, a cute little boy. I was the apple of their eyes. And why wouldn’t I be? When I grew up, I would be rich and successful and I would take care of them. The pressure (burden!) grew when my mom suffered some complications afterwards and could not give birth again. That misfortune made me a superhuman, a rare species, a person who looks like everyone else and yet is completely different, that made me the only child.

Growing up, I always felt different from the crowd. I would see a middle-aged fat woman walking on the street carrying two babies one on each shoulder and wonder why my mother’s left shoulder was empty. There were two people in my neighbor’s house who were about the same size as me. However, I was the only leprechaun in our house. Sometimes it got worse. When I visited my relatives, I would see a picture of six people up on their wall. My uncle and aunt were in the middle, flanked by my four cousins – four! I thought, I had four cousins while they had only me – one!  This feeling of having to fend off four people back then was scary, very scary. Why would Mother Nature make each of us so different?

At school, I could not fit into any group. By the way, there were so many different groups in my school. There was the soccer gang – they’d hang out in the northeastern corner of the playground with a soccer ball. There was the cool gang – these would be found leaning against the southern wall of the school building, checking out everyone who passed by. There was also a weird gang – the pink gang –a group of girls who always wore pink bowties on their heads! And there was a hide-and-seek gang, a four-eyed gang - guys with glasses and a black-out gang – the dark guys. There were so many other gangs too but I could not fit into any of them. They would always brag about how sporty their elder brother was or how pretty their elder sister was and all I could do was to stand in the corner and admire them. They were god’s favorite children. god blessed them with a sibling. God hated me and I hated Him back.

Whose fault is it that I am the only child, the lonely child? Was it my mom’s fault or my dad’s? Perhaps the fault was mine. I was the one whose birth gave my mom all her problems. My parents must have dreamt of having more children and I had shattered their dreams. If I happened to die tomorrow (I want to live long though!), who would take care of my parents? My dad is retired now but has been somehow managing to pay for my college expenses. I am still dependant on my parents. Every time I ask my dad for money, I feel like I am taking a loan from him. I can never ever pay my debts. Only if I had a sibling, he would have earned as well and contributed to our household expenses. Again, the fault is all mine. I had got offers for more jobs, but I dropped those offers because I could not handle the pressure. The entire fault is mine.

However, on rare occasions, being the only child is good. I do not have to share my dessert. I do not have to share my room. My mom’s lap is all for me. I do not have to quarrel with anyone to sit in the passenger seat on my dad’s car. I don’t have to fight for the TV remote. I do not have to baby-sit my younger sister when nobody’s home. Nor am I bullied by an elder brother. I have a monopoly. At other times, not having a sibling is the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone. There is no one to give you a budge on the swing at the playground. Festivals at home are boring. I keep telling myself that my mom, dad and I are the “awesome threesome”. But who am I kidding? Bhai tika, for me, is the worst day of the year (for obvious reasons). Dashain and Holi are the same way. I am miserable. Life without a sibling is like a computer without an internet connection. You can have fun playing pre-installed games but you know that the internet is way more fun.

The world is so unjust. You only realize this if you meet with a tragedy. And nothing can be worse than not having a sibling. If I were in God’s shoes, I would either give everyone on earth a sibling or make everyone only child. Then there would be no complaints from cursed people like us. There are some people who hate their brothers or sisters for many reasons. If you asked me, I would say that there is no better gift in life than having a sibling. I would do anything to get a sibling but I am helpless. God simply didn’t bless me with it. I have to live with this enormous void throughout my life. Maybe I am destined for something else. Or, maybe I am just the only child, the lonely child.