Get closer to the Teenz Team and follow one of the writers through his life. Stay tuned every month for the inside scoop into the writer’s mind. Teenz now brings you a series, a new story about growing up, every month.

“Let’s meet up sometime,” I tell my friends over the internet sometimes, but time is never on my side and our plans always go unfulfilled. I have a new life now and so do they. Our new worlds don’t mix anymore.


It’s strange how a simple event can jog the cockles of your memory and send you searing into the past. Looking at myself in the mirror, brushing my teeth, I’m eleven again, worrying about the Nepali homework I was too bored to do the other night. I’m back being the kid who doesn’t know how to tie his shoelaces, someone who needs his grandmother to feed him while he hurries to get into his school uniform. I’m back to being the kid who races to his bus-stop, fearing that he’ll miss it. Life was simple when I was young.

I’m an adult now. I have a job and I’m more responsible. I wake up every day, change into my work clothes and rush to my microbus stand, fearing that I’ll get late and most of the time, I do. But, I’m not worried about that. What I am worried about is that my school route and my work route, are the same and every day, when I go to work, I remember. I remember the crazy things that happened in the school bus, those afternoon bus lunches we had, doing my homework on the bus and I remember rushing to the window when we spotted a good-looking girl. Memories flood back and I can’t help but wonder how perfect my life had been and how I didn’t have the sense to realize it then. My mind wanders and I let it because the more I think about it, the more vivid it seems.

It hurts me now to relive dreams long past, but what hurts me more is watching the people I spent all my childhood with fade away. I have friends I don’t talk to anymore, I have friends who’ve left for another country and friends who have just learnt to make new friends. “Let’s meet up sometime,” I tell my friends over the internet sometimes, but time is never on my side and our plans always go unfulfilled. I have a new life now and so do they. Our new worlds don’t mix anymore.

I sit drinking coffee at work, listening to my friends talk about some guy, but I don’t listen. I hardly hear what they say because my mind is far off. My mind is living a dream of its own. It’s dancing in a past that my body can never go back to. It flaunts a jewel that my arms are too short to grab. I come back after my mind has danced its dance. I sip my coffee, let the bitterness hit my tongue and then I let it hit me. This is it; this is the shimmering jewel, this is my dance. This is as good as it gets, this is as good as I want it to get.

I wake up one day and I realize that the race that I’d been running has already finished and I’ve been left far behind. I try to catch up but others have already finished and I have a long way to go. I run but the world spins madly on.